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Big and Heavy

Posted on July 31, 2013 at 4:55 PM

Where have the days gone by? It feels like the days are flying a lot faster than it used to. It is already Thursday this side of the world. It seems like it was just Saturday yesterday. Now it is almost the end of the week again. 


I am 34 weeks pregnant this week. And I do feel heavy and big. Well, when I see myself in the mirror and try to look at my reflection from a third person POV, I don't appear to be that big. However, it is what I feel. And I feel like I am now dragging myself with every move I make. I have gained about 26 lbs from the time I started this pregnancy. Imagine how light I used to be than I do now. 


I wake up and roll to my side then try to push myself up to a sitting position before I slowly move my feet down the bed. I cannot make any sudden movements in getting up already because I would feel pain and discomfort in different parts of my body when I do that. When I walk, I feel like I am dragging my feet every step of the way. And sometimes, I get the urge to hold my tummy up thinking that maybe I could just carry some of the weight in my arms. LOL! It is silly, I know. I cannot walk fast anymore because I get tired easily with all the weight that I carry and it also stresses out my back which has been in pain for quite a while now. Well, the back pain is not all pregnancy related. Even before I got pregnant, I already have posture problem. I love slouching. Which now helps ease some of the pain. But I have to correct that eventually. When i stand, I have to ensure that I don't bend backwards too much. I try to maintain upright position to ensure that my posture will still be somewhat correct. Which makes me thankful to the creator of maternity support belts. At some point, they do help ease up the back pains. 


Then I come home. I now dread climbing up the five flights of stairs to my apartment. I used to climb the stairs without stopping. Now I have to stop at every floor to catch my breath and I have to hold on to the railing to keep me safe. I cannot go running up and down those steps as well. Good luck to me if I do that at this stage. Once I enter my apartment, first thing I do is to flop down on my couch, put my feet up, stuff pillows behind me then turn the television on without really watching anything. I stay that way for about 30 minutes or so before I start with the routine of taking vitamins, having a quick shower, then head to bed.


Now, going to bed at this stage is not so easy anymore, too. If waking up takes a lot of effort, lying down takes twice that effort. Before getting pregnant, I just flop on my bed, face first, drag my feet on to the bed, then sleep on my stomach. I could sleep within minutes in that position. Now, I have to sit on the bed, fix my pillows in such a way that it will provide the support once I lie down, lift my legs up on the bed, stuff pillows under my feet to elevate them, then lie down with my elbows supporting my body's descent to the bed. Once in a comfortable position I take a deep breath then try to roll on to the side and find the most comfortable position to get some sleep. Which will take about several minutes to an hour because every time I move, my baby moves with me. I move to get comfortable then he moves to get comfortable as well which will then make my position uncomfortable and I have to roll or move again. It becomes a cycle until we both find the comfortable position for both of us. That's the only time we can get some decent sleep. 


Bottomline: not that I am complaining but at this stage of pregnancy, it is very, very frustrating that my movements are limited and controlled by this tiny baby in me. I feel like an old woman with the way I move nowadays that there are times that I wish I could go back to my pre-pregnancy days when it takes me less than half an hour to prepare for work, run up and down the stairs, walk fast as if I am in a walkathon, flop on my bed and sleep on my stomach.


I know there will come a time that I will miss my pregnancy days. But for now, I just wanted to document what it feels like to be 34 weeks pregnant. Only two words I can find. Big and heavy....



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